Showing posts with label Peter Coffin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Peter Coffin. Show all posts

"You are a big rat and a snake with poisenous venom. Lots of luck to authors who come here and slip in that!" -JACQUELINE HOWETT LOSES HER MIND.

My friend Amber, an author, sent this in for me with the caption "The next Peter Coffin?"
Indeed, if only for the reason that some people don't know when the hell to shut up:

http://booksandpals.blogspot.com/2011/03/greek-seaman-jacqueline-howett.html

A reviewer picked on the wrong independent author when he chose to comment on The Greek Seaman by Jacqueline Howett.


Summary?


When Jacqueline Howett got wind of his poor review, grammatically atrocious shit hit the fan:


... she then proceeded to include a few more of her other four and five star reviews from her blog/website.  Okay, okay, we get it.  This is already a sad display of desperation from someone who should be of thicker skin. After a few reader comments, Big Al addressed the author's dissatisfaction, in a polite and dignified way:


That is when it all fell apart.  Some of Jacqueline's gems:


See? Show me poor grammar!  Show me spelling errors!



Did she just say "did a booboo"?  You've got to be shitting me.


What the hell is an "emergency copy"?


The fact that she sees nothing wrong is the issue.





Well, there you have it.
Fuck off, all 300 of you. Fuck off, fellow reviewers and authors who don't know what you're talking about.  Fuck off, possible future fans who are too ignorant to know genius when you see it.  Fuck off, anyone who doesn't agree with her opinion.

If that doesn't wrap it up in a big bow, I don't know what would.

Future authors, please read further so you have a vivid picture of what kind of professional you DO NOT want to be:

GO: http://booksandpals.blogspot.com/2011/03/greek-seaman-jacqueline-howett.html?commentPage=2

Make Yourself Your Own Kobayashi.

http://www.someecards.com/2011/03/29/cloud-girlfriend-invents-a-girlfriend-for-you

Wow, this has really taken off.  Coffin should have invested some $$ into this.

A new wonderfully creepy startup called Cloud Girlfriend thinks they have the answer to finding the woman of your dreams: "The best way to get a girlfriend is to already have one." You can only sign up for the early invitation service now but here's how it works: Create your Weird Science gal and they'll "bring her into existence" by creating fake social media profiles for her, and will even have her post on your Facebook Wall. This whole process could be a lot easier if they just figured out a way for you and your Cloud Girlfriend to have sex.

Please let this be a Peter Coffin-esque April Fools joke.

What if WE are the aliens?

Nothing says topical like using a year old Ke$ha quote as your blog title.
What. UP.



All right, so I have had a lot of traffic after my blog was linked all over hell's half acre regarding Peter Coffin (I Just DGAF?), and some people have found me on Twitter as well to ask who I am and how I came to be included in this whole affair.

Quick Summary:

I am a local celebrity* who lives with my boyfriend in Edmonton, Alberta Canada.  I like the colour brown and things that are small.  I dig Scottish accents and people who can laugh at themselves.  I spend most of my money on music, beer, and avocados.

A friend of mine in Halifax BBMed me early Wednesday morning about a blog post he read about this douchebag Peter Coffin and, upon reading XiaXeu's blog post, was so enthralled by the idiocy of the whole affair I had to find out more.
Upon further investigation, I started documenting things as I found them, including taking screen shots of sites and posts that I knew would surely be deleted as the internet caught wind of the affair and Coffin ran for his life.
It wasn't even a hashtag on Twitter yet so I got a bit of a head start on it all.
Lucky me.  ;)

I tried telling Peter on Twitter (when he unlocked it for a brief time) to stop with the crazy defenses and lies (because he didn't know how much had been found out about him in the short time I took to Google). I tried telling him on Rants and Retardicles (the new blog he created to pretend to be someone else defending Peter's honour) to stop and take a deep breath and drop out of site and let it all blow over.  Even as he took to MY blog to make crass comments, and took to reddit to try and explain it all away with more lies, I was trying my best to get him to understand that he was making it all worse.

As you are now well aware, he didn't take my advice.  Instead he lied continuously, contradicting himself at every turn, mocked people who refused to believe said lies, drew attention to Xiaxeu's shortcomings as a way to deflect from his own mistakes, and then when nothing else worked, he played the victim.
In short, he dared people to hate him.
And they did.
By the millions all across the globe.

Eventually, simply due to the fact that I had the events laid out in chronological order as it unfolded in the cyber world, my blog was linked as a great way to fully understand the magnitude of the situation.  No other reason.  Before this happened, I had heard of none of the major player in this awesome story of Deception and Betrayal.

So, I thank everyone for their comments and their entertaining participation over the last few days.  It was an extremely enjoyable way to spend some sick days in bed.

I wish Peter the best in rebuilding his life and I sincerely hope that he learns a HUGE lesson from this.
Otherwise he is in store for a very, very, very long road ahead.



*Not even close to a celebrity, unless you ask Marko, Greg, my parents, or the people who used to follow me on Facebook until I got kicked off for, presumably, getting into a futile discussion with Republicans.

Kimi Kobayashi+ Banksy= Keyser-fucking-Söze.

So, it'a been a blast and an exceptional two days to be sick in bed with you, Peter, but I think... I think I want to start seeing other people.


"You can't fire me, Bitch... I QUIT."


But, in all seriousness, it is pretty played out.
'I Just DGAF' has deleted all comments to me and Peter Coffin has locked his tweets again & deleted his reddit account on the thread he created to insist that he was a victim of a "smear campaign'.  If his story was true, the worst he'd be a victim of is bad judgment for presuming his Asian model internet girlfriend of 8 months was sincere.  This whole 'the world is out to get me' bullshit was a reach from the beginning and it failed miserably.
His starfucker celebrity status whoring only ensured that all the evidence of his weird, sick, alternate universe was on full display for all reporters, twitter followers, facebookers and bloggers to document.

Shutting up would have been his best option, and finally I think he has.

It was a dick move, it was humiliating, but I don't wish to harm or hurt the guy.
He has given me much pleasure in the last 24 hours and I do wish him the best from here on out.
Get your shit together, get a day job, get to a gym, stop trying to be popular and try being personable.




One day I hope to hear his name referenced and be able to say "Hey, I remember that guy..."

Still nice to know he's following my every post, though:


http://inthewarbetween.blogspot.com/2011/03/most-disturbingly-hilarious-dating.html
UPDATE:


Is the "blogger" he is referring to ME, speaking to me as 'I Just DGAF'?  You make the call.  He has not been noted as speaking on any other blogs during this time.  Not even Xiaxeu's.  Interesting.


http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2011/03/peter_coffin_fake_girlfriend_xiaxue_asian.php



A Dent in Peter's Coffin. UPDATES.

http://inthewarbetween.blogspot.com/2011/03/peter-coffin-you-sad-sorry-sonofabitch.html  CONTINUED...


-------------------------------------------------------- comments from alternate post:
Peter returns to taunt me like he taunted Xiaxeu.  Second time's a charm?
----------------------------------------------------------

Does 'I Just DGAF' look familiar?  They should.  They post on this blog:

http://rantsandretardicles.blogspot.com/?zx=80cb0ff8f7b90deb

The one created by someone OTHER than Peter Coffin (because that would CRAZY) to defend him against the haters.  Or something.  Read for yourself.

Even though I repeatedly told him to stop with the new blogs and reddit and Twitter and other futile means to defend his aching position, he insists on taunting me.  Because no one listens to me anyway, right?


Also:


The second rated comment on reddit.

Not to mention being linked by numerous other blogs, articles, thread sites, and Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Now, granted, this means shit in the overall scheme of things, but to insinuate that someone as worthless as myself can't influence anyone by simply posting my observations and "screen shots" (because what proof are pictures, anyway) on a wee blog is a bit naive. Ever heard of 'word of mouth'?  It's not when your imaginary girlfriend puts your cock down her imaginary throat; it actually does something.

Maybe that is what got you into this mess- you don't think anyone else is ever worthy enough to tear down the kingdom of Korean love you have built for yourself.  And yet, here you are... defending yourself on reddit and losing grace and honour with each shallow reply.


Perhaps you'd be better off leaving well enough alone now?

UPDATE:

Peter!  You made it to the big time!! Congratulations.

http://www.metro.us/newyork/life/article/812781--peter-coffin-the-strange-story-of-a-boy-a-model-and-his-girlfriend--page0

He has since deleted all comments impersonating himself as 'I Just DGAF'.  Damn it.  Now the comment threads don't make any sense.  I hate it when that happens.

Funny; Peter Coffin also said of  Xiaxeu "you suck as a person."  I'm sure it's coincidence.

And now Peter's alter-ego I Just DGAF has a Twitter page.  And guess which blogger he's decided to attempt to harass now?  I know. I feel honoured as well.


A Note from Xiaxue's husband:


http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2011/03/peter_coffin_fake_girlfriend_xiaxue_asian.php

NEWEST UPDATE:

A reddit member sent me this screen shot of a conversation he had with Peter Coffin.  Peter admitted to meeting this chick in Scotland of all places.  Boom. 

A reddit member privately facebook Peter Coffin requesting information. He MET her in Scotland. So he DID meet her?

If he "met" her then why is he insisting she "doesn't exist"?


 This guy should go into politics.


Continued post: http://inthewarbetween.blogspot.com/2011/03/kimi-kobayashi-banksy-keyser-fucking.html

Peter Coffin, You Sad Sorry Sonofabitch.

source: http://xiaxue.blogspot.com/2011/03/peter-coffin-is-loser.html


So, Peter Coffin pissed off the wrong Asian blogger who has a significant following and now he has a pile of humiliation and embarrassment to sift through on his way to "own(ing) Hollywood".

READ:http://xiaxue.blogspot.com/2011/03/peter-coffin-is-loser.html

(Try copying and pasting the URL in the browser if it doesn't link properly.  Short story: A guy named Peter Coffin created a fake blog, Twitter page, Facebook page, and YouTube channel as a way of pretending he had a pretty young Japanese girlfriend, Kimi Kobayashi.  He stated that he and she were Twitter's new "Power Couple".  After harassing XiaXue for being a "fake Asian" due to her plastic surgery, XiaXue's followers exposed the Japanese girlfriend to be a Korean model and not in any way connected to Peter Coffin.  He had basically stolen stock photos off the internet galleries and created himself the perfect girlfriend.  The rest is internet history...)

It is ALWAYS better to be single than to be this guy.  Let this be a lesson to all of you... especially the 27 year old wanna-be comedians.


UPDATE: 

The follow up: http://xiaxue.blogspot.com/2011/03/peter-coffin-is-his-own-legal-team.html

http://twitter.com/#!/petercoffin
http://twitter.com/#!/petercoffin

Oh, Petie... Petie don't.  Just leave well enough alone, Hun.  You unblocked your tweets to somehow gain a sympathetic audience?  This ain't going away and it's not going to get any better with you insisting you had no part in this.  You are better off pretending you did it as some sociological theatre piece for your new YouTube channel "PlayWithPeter'sImaginaryFriend".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZLJOiNkJY4&p=32558601B83CE296


And then Peter makes a third identity blog page to defend himself as a third party witness to the event.  Oh, LORD.
http://rantsandretardicles.blogspot.com/2011/03/i-hate-you-so-im-going-to-like-your-fan.html?zx=da18b8228cae5016

http://rantsandretardicles.blogspot.com/2011/03/i-hate-you-so-im-going-to-like-your-fan.html?zx=da18b8228cae5016

http://gosugamers.net/starcraft2/thread/733942-petercoffin-interview-free-lessons

http://rantsandretardicles.blogspot.com/2011/03/plastic-sheep-part-2.html?showComment=1300992832469#c1489154602416643401

Someone asked him on Formspring if he was Kimi.  (Thanks for the head up, Anonymous.)

http://www.formspring.me/petercoffin/q/159083641937368601

Yes.  THEY are the ones being stupid.


So, he knew March 16th but then found out AGAIN when he was found out by Xiaxeu? 
"Dig up, Douchebag.  Dig UP."


For effect: Weezer's 'El Scorcho'. Enjoy.




Continued Blogpost as Coffin spams me: http://inthewarbetween.blogspot.com/2011/03/dent.html

**Thanks for the heads up, LePage.  This was GOLD.